(this post is highly edited because there’s personal stuff about other people that I will not be sharing)

Update. [redacted section]. I do struggle with my strong desire not to talk to my parents about what’s going on, but then I think about it. This is a really personal, hard to explain, embarrassing thing to tell my parents let alone actually talk to them about it. I don’t want them to know these intimate details, not specifically anyway. And that is my right. I don’t have to share these things with anyone I don’t want to not because I’m keeping secrets but because these are my struggles and I can choose to find support wherever I think it will help me. To me when it comes to my family I tend to find that they don’t know how to give me the support I need. Maybe this would be different. I’m not giving them the chance. Because with this, the way people have reacted to me has changed how I see the relationship. I don’t need to be dealing with more of that from people as important and permanent as my family. It doesn’t work for me.

[redacted section] And if there’s anything I’ve learned so far it’s that I have much more difficult days when I’m anticipating a response.